You Better Don't Remember
by coffeepot
Summary: After a life threatening injury to one of the detectives, the other two men have to make decisions


You Better Don't Remember

„Cody, we have to talk…now!" Dr. Murray Bozinsky stood in the middle of the salon of the Riptide. He was tired and looked at his blond friend in concern.

"Things cannot go on like that Cody! You are going down the drain! I cannot watch you slipping away…I am tucked out!" The skinny man lowered his head in despair.

"You are right Murray but please, please give me just a few more days…only this weekend! After that I promise, no Boz I swear, we talk about everything and how we will go on!"

"Cody, a day, a week, a month…nothing will change you have to accept it!" Bozinsky answered sadly.

"My God Murray…how do you come to say something so terrible? You act as if Nick were already dead! But he is still alive and I feel it, yes Murray I can really feel it…he will recover!" The blond man revolted.

"Oh Cody, don't you deceive yourself! Nick is in coma for three weeks now. The doctors don't know if he will ever wake up again…and if, at what cost!" The young scientist shook his head.

"Nick is strong…he is a fighter Murray! He will wake up and everything will go back to normal!"

"Cody, I can't stand it any longer! Nobody knows if Nick will be the same if he ever comes to conscious again! You have to face up to it!"

"Murray I cannot believe it…you talk about Nick as if he were a stranger…how can you be so cruel?" Allen asked his voice shaking.

"I am not unfeeling at all and I love him like a brother…like you do! But our life has to continue Cody and we have to decide in which way! Do we close the agency or will we work on together? We have to find a solution – the sooner the better!"

"Look Murray…I am really sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. But I simply can't go back to the agenda as if nothing had happened! Look, Nick needs us more than ever and I know he can feel it when we are next to him…it's scientifically proven! I think I don't have to tell you that!"

"That's right Cody and we will take care for Nick as long as he is al…but we have to follow a regulated daily routine – otherwise we will both perish of the situation! Look at yourself…you are only a shadow of yourself! How long do you think you can bear it? If Nick should wake up, he will surely strangle me because I haven't taken better care of you!"

"I don't get it Boz…you really don't believe he will make it!" Allen hide his face in his hands.

"Cody, I want to believe it and I'll never give up the hope but I am realistic as well. Look, we have to earn money to pay the costs. Not to talk about the hospital bills and if things go on like now, our reserves will be exhausted very soon! We have to come to a decision!"

"Murray, how can you think about money while Nick is fighting for his life?" Allen asked bewildered.

"Cody, without money… we will reach the end of the line very soon my friend! If you are interested, I sold a computer program to TechTronics . They paid quite well and this money will keep us liquid for a while and we can pay the hospital bills." Bozinsky sighed.

"I am so sorry I didn't pay attention to all of this Murray! Give me another day…only twenty-four hours! If nothing happens, we do whatever you say, I promise!"

"I agree but know I want you to lay you down for a while. I am going to cook something for us. You didn't eat a decent meal for days!"

"Uh, sorry Boz but I just wanted to take a quick shower and go back to the hospital!"

"Listen Cody you are sitting 15 hours a day at Nick's bed, you are wasted to the bones and totally tired out. To make a long story short you are tuckered out! I don't want to lose another friend. You take a nap and after a shower and a hot meal we go together and see Nick. Okay?"

Allen lay in his bunk and stared at the empty bed next to him. He missed Nick so much…his smile, his jokes, even his sometimes snide remarks! He missed everything.

Allan felt like amputated and the last weeks were the worst nightmare in his life. The blond closed his eyes but the memories of the day his best friend nearly died in his arms, adamantly forced themselves into his mind and he angrily wiped away the tears.

The day had started so well and nothing had indicated the tragedy. The three of them had clowned around during breakfast like teenagers. They had successfully finished their actual case the day before and were facing a royal fee.

Even the fact that LT Quinlan had ordered them to come to the police station to give their statements couldn't cloud their mood. They had decided to take a break and go on a fishing trip…but everything went awfully wrong!

After the three detectives hand signed the official papers and nearly had left the station, they involuntarily became witness of an unpleasant conversation between Quinlan and an obviously hysterical young woman.

"Listen lady, in case your little outlier isn't back in your nest let's say in twelve hours, come back here and we'll record him in our chart of missed persons! That's all I can do for you now…I am sorry but that's the legal situation."

"But Lt Quinlan, Sir! My husband…he is depressive and unpredictable! I am afraid he could hurt Tommy!"The blond woman cried.

"As I told you lady, I have my orders!" With these words, Quinlan left the young mother standing in the hall.

Murray gave his partners an emphatic look and called: "Please wait Miss…perhaps we can help you!"

The totally distraught woman looked at the three men in surprise but she was willing to clutch at any straw.

"Excuse me…but we couldn't help but listen to, well the conversation you had with LT Quinlan:" Murray said and extended his hand.

"My name is Murray Bozinsky and these are my partners Cody Allen and Nick Ryder. We are private eyes…perhaps we can help you – provided you want us to help."

The blond woman wiped away the tears: "I am sorry…my name is Andrea Miller…you surely think, I am totally hysteric!"She excused herself. "But Tommy, my son, he called me an hour ago…he was crying and I know he was scared! I go mad because I am afraid that Peter could go to extremes!"

"Peter? Who is Peter Madam?" Allan asked cautiously.

"Peter is my husband…well he was. We got divorced six months ago. I know he took Tommy to do something horrible …you have to help me, please!"

"Well first of all we have to talk. You have to tell us the whole story Miss Miller and then we decide if we can help you or not. But we should do it on a neutral place! I suggest we'll meet on our boat. It is called Riptide." Murray handed a business card over to Andrea Miller.

Ryder sat pondering on the passenger seat while Cody drove the car through the busy traffic.

"What's wrong Nick", Allen asked his friend.

"I think that was quite a spontaneous action in the police station. Way too spontaneous for my taste!"

"But Nick our work is to help people and Miss Miller obviously needs help!"Murray defended himself.

"That's not the point here Mur. We are up against parental child abduction. They are divorced and I assume there is a sentence concerning the custody! That's not a case for us!"Ryder insisted.

"I don't understand why not! If Miss Miller takes on us, it is our case."Allen said.

"Cody, maybe I didn't express myself clearly. As a matter of fact this case has to do with a relationship and as I remember we decided to keep our hands off cases like that!"

"But Nick you have seen her…she is totally frantic…we have to help her!"Murray was firmly determined.

"Listen Boz, above all, a small boy is involved. To tell you the truth…for me this case is too sensitive. It is a matter of the police…it's simply out of our league!" Ryder nagged at his lip.

"Did I get you right Nick? Since when do we puss out when it comes to difficulties?" Allen wanted to know.

"Well if you really want to know…I think we should try it out in this special case!" In my opinion this case could become too…delicate and I don't want to blame myself because I overestimated my abilities!"

"I'd say we listen what Miss Miller has to tell us and then we decide if we accept the case or not!"

"Whatever you say Cody, but you know my opinion about it!" Nick added.

Half an hour later the three detectives sat together with Andrea Miller at the table in the salon of the Riptide.

"Look I have a photograph of Tommy…it has been taken only a few weeks ago." The young mother placed the picture on the table.

Tommy was a nice little boy with light blond hair, a twee tooth gap and countless freckles in his face.

"Look guys, what a nice little boy!" Murray passed the photo around.

"Mister Bozinsky…Tommy is my one and only! If something happens to him – I don't want to live any longer!"

"It won't go that far Miss Miller. But please tell us about your husband and why you finally decided to get divorced." Murray asked her.

"Please don't get me wrong, Peter is a great man and the best father a boy can have. But he changed a lot in the last years. It started when Tommy went to the preschool und I wanted to start to work again. Before Tommy was born, my husband agreed that I could go back to the attorney's office as soon as our son is taken good care of in the morning. But the nearer this day approached the more eccentric Peter became. You have to know my husband is ten years older than I am…he started to reproach me…he assumed me to be unfaithful. He even spied on me…he was really obsessed!

I really loved him and I never wanted to leave him…at least not at that time."

"What happened next, Andrea?" Cody asked.

"I didn't want to venture our marriage so I agreed to stay at home. But even that wasn't enough for Peter. He even suspected me to invite other men in our house when he was at work!"

"Was it like that?" Nick asked and got a deprecating stare from both of his partners.

"Of course not…I told you that I really loved Peter!"

"But there must have been a reason for your husband's suspect Miss Miller!" Ryder tried again.

"I think he was afraid to lose Tommy and me…I cannot find another reason!"

"Well Andrea, at some point you decided to leave Pete, was there a special inducement?" Nick didn't want to leave her from the hook!

"Yes…he forbade Tommy to meet his friends for playing…can you imagine how hard this is for a little boy? On the climax of his jealousy he even caged Tommy and me in our house for days…Tommy couldn't go to school. I couldn't stand it any longer. I packed a few things and Tommy and I went to my mother and lived in her house from that time."

"What was Peter's reaction?" Nick asked and absently played with a pen on the table.

"How do you think he reacted? He started to terrorize us with phone calls and he stood at the door in the middle of the night…crying-more than once! It was terrible I really tried to help him but he never made the try to let me…in the end I filed for divorce! But I never wanted to take Tommy away from him! We shared the custody and every two weeks, Tommy spent the weekend with his Dad. I really thought Peter had accepted the situation."Andrea Miller sobbed.

"Andrea," Murray handed her a paper tissue. "What exactly happened today, before we met?"

"Well it is Peter's weekend with Tommy and I wanted to know about the plans he had made…but Peter was kind of withdrawn. He said perhaps cinema or a walk in the mountains – he didn't want to specify. I really didn't think anything of it…Peter always played the game you know…he always brought Tommy back to me…" Andrea ripped the tissue into pieces.

"Well two hours ago or so, Tommy called me…he sounded frightened. He said 'Mom, I want to come home and I was totally scared because Tommy always enjoyed the weekends with his father.

I asked Tommy if there was a fight with Peter and Tommy started to cry and told me that his father had shown him a bag with lots of pills and told him to take a handful of them! I was totally hysteric and cried…'Tommy where are you? I come and take you…are you in Daddy's house?' But Tommy told me about Dinosaurs…about a rollercoaster and that they booked a holiday home but he couldn't tell me where!"

"Jurassic Park…there is a big rollercoaster and holiday apartments. Did Tommy tell you something else?" Bozinsky asked.

"No…Peter had taken the receiver away…he sounded weird and I totally panicked. He slurred but Peter never drinks alcohol…he told me that he loves me and that he cannot live like that any longer!" Andrea was shaking.

"Andrea did you tell the same at the police station?" Murray asked, shaking his head.

"Yes but they sent me away…told me to come again…tomorrow! Please, you have to help me! Please bring Tommy back to me- today…tomorrow may be too late!"

"Okay guys, I have heard enough, we shouldn't waste precious time!" Murray exclaimed.

Nick wasn't convinced by far but Andrea's story had touched him deep inside.

"I agree on the condition that I give Quinlan a call and ask for official support!"The dark haired man said.

"I want to talk to LT Quinlan…yes, I hold the line.

"Listen Quinlan, I need your help…"

"Nobody can help you Flyboy…that's a matter of fact and I told it to you at least a hundred times!"

"Quinlan we are talking about the welfare of a small boy. Do you think we could dig up the hatchet at least until Tommy is safely back at his mom?"

"Ah I see…this mad woman charmed the pants off the three of you! Listen Ryder, she is like all these ex-wives…always concerned to press out the last drop of blood out of her ex-husband…you get it?"

"Come one Quinlan that not the thing. She is afraid that her husband goes nuts and he has Tommy!"

"Ryder tell her to call on me tomorrow…you know the law. If you want to make fools of yourselves in the meantime…you have my blessing!" With these harsh words, the policeman hung off.

"What did he say Nick?" Bozinsky nervously asked.

"You don't really want to know Boz…well, the usual empty phrases you know him. I really don't want to talk about it now!"

Murray was already on deck when Nick called him back: "Where are you going Boz?"

"Well I thought we go to this Jurassic Park…"

"Well, Cody and I will go to that Park. You stay here with Miss Miller. We call you as soon as we have news!" Ryder answered.

"That is out of question…Tommy is my son and I come with you! I can't sit here and wait!"

"I'm sorry Andrea but you stay here with our partner! No further discussion!" Nick insisted.

Cody parked the car near the entrance of the small holiday village. Murray had told them the number of the house that Peter had hired via radio.

"Nick!"  
"Yes?"

"Do you think he really wants to kill himself and his only child?"

"Believe me Cody, I would feel a lot better if I only knew!" Ryder answered and cooked his gun.

"Do you have a plan pal?" Allen asked again.

"Not really but we try to stalk up upon the apartment…I head-on and you from the side and I hope then a brain-wave has hit me!"

"That's not much, indeed!" Allen answered. " But it is at least a hundred percent more than I have to offer!"

"That really calms me down Cody…let's go on three!"

"On three, or at three Nick?"

"Don't you listen to me Cody? On three!"

"Nick you know I have my difficulties with this parole!"

"Cody…one, two…and three and we are already on our way! You got it now?"

"Yeah, I think so!"

At the same moment a loud shot echoed from the apartment and Ryder sprinted out of his cover directly to the door. The door flew open and for a fragment of seconds Ryder stood face to face to a crying, staggering man who aimed his gun directly at Ryder.

"Peter…calm down…everything is going to be okay!" Nick tried to sound as quiet as possible. Put away your gun…we take Tommy and everything is all right!"

"It is too late…too late", the man sobbed and made a step aside. Totally horrified Nick caught view of a small body bathed in blood…then Ryder heard another shot and was knocked off his feet as if a huge wave had caught him.

Cody cowered beside the house when he heard the first shot. He was relieved when he could hear Nick talking to Peter…then a second shot.

"Nick…Nick, are you okay…answer me?" The blond man shouted.

A third shot rang out and a bad feeling came over him and he left his shelter without thinking about the risks.

In front of the house Cody saw Nick lying on the ground, curled up and covered in blood!

In the doorframe he saw a man who obviously had killed himself…and a few feet away…Tommy!

Cody was out of his mind: "Nick…no!" He fell to his knees and turned his friend carefully around.

Nick stared at him…disbelief, pain and horror visible in his eyes…Tommy", he whispered.

"Don't talk Nick!" Allan desperately looked around. "I need help…help me!" He shouted.

The door of the reception slowly opened and the desk clerk cautiously peeked around.

"Call an ambulance…hurry up…and the police!"

Cody's looked at the ugly gaping wound on Nick's left shoulder…Good God the blood squirted out with every heartbeat and Allen pressed his hand on it with all the power he had.

Ryder moaned.

"Hang on Nick…everything is going to be okay! You just have to hang on…just a little longer…help is on the way!"

Ryder stared at Allen with dark eyes and Cody felt Nick's pain in his own body.

"Nick…breathe…do you hear me…breathe! Don't you dare to give up… Nick no!" Allen cried when Nick's eyes slowly closed.

"Step aside Sir!" Cody heard a paramedic but he wasn't able to understand it. He knelt next to Nick and followed the scene without really realizing.

The paramedics gave Ryder artificial respiration, they infused him and after they had applied a tourniquet on his life threatening wound, he was loaded into the ambulance.

In the meantime Quinlan had arrived at the crime scene and he instructed one of his policemen to escort Cody to the hospital Nick had been taken to.

It was the most difficult moment in Quinlan's life to call Murray Bozinsky and convey the awful news. But Murray was all alone when he had to tell Andrea Miller that she had lost Tommy and Peter.

On the way to the daily visit Cody took up the subject again.

"I really want to apologize, Boz!"  
"I told you, you don't have to Cody!"

"Well there are lots of reasons Murray. But I really understood that there is absolutely no need to bury the head in the sand…it's pointless and it doesn't help Nick at all!"

"I am happy that you are so wise Cody but I had no right to press you the way I did!"

"Well, I needed it…listen I gave it a thought. We start to work again from Monday. We have to keep the agency alive…Nick will jump down our throats when he comes home and realizes that we have ruined the business!"

On one hand, Murray was happy to see that Cody was more accessible and wanted to take the initiative again…on the other hand Murray was deeply depressed that Cody was so fixated that everything would be like in old times again.

Nobody of Nick's doctors could answer the question if the young pilot would ever wake up again and worse, none of them risked a prognosis if Nick would suffer from irreparable damages.

Nick had lost a lot of blood…to be true, too much because the bullet from Peter Miller's gun had tear up an artery.

The doctors had to reanimate Nick twice…the first time in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and the second time during the emergency surgery.

Although the medics didn't believe that Ryder would survive, they put him in an artificial coma. But the young man fought like a lion and his condition improved day by day to the surprise of all.

After his state was so good that they could remove Nick from the breathing machine and he really breathed on himself, the doctors decided to let him slowly wake up.

Ryder recovered in small steps but unfortunately he made no move to regain conscious again.

The hypothesis of a neurologist that Nick's traumatic experience could be the reason was comforting but it didn't change the situation at all. But Murray kept his doubts to himself because he didn't want to risk the tiny stage victory he had won regarding Cody.

Bozinsky hated the hospital smell…sharp and stinging and he hated the cold light in the corridors.

Fortunately they had given Nick a nice single room with a window after he had been relocated from the ICU to the normal ward.

The room even had a table and two chairs and allowed itself the luxury of an own bathroom.

All these amenities made it easier for Cody and Murray to spend countless hours on Nick's hospital bed.

Nick's position hasn't changed since they had left him the evening before…nothing at all had changed. The monitors were beeping and blinking and several infusion bags dripped fluids in different colors, into Nick's veins.

A feeding tube through the injured man's abdominal wall supplied him with liquid food.

The only thing that reminded of Ryder's almost deathly injury was a bandage on Nick's left shoulder.

Today it was exactly three weeks ago, as the shooting that had changed their lives so drastically, had taken place.

Murray sighed and took place next to Ryder's bed. He took his friends hand and slightly squeezed it. Bozinsky was hollow and raddled and there was nothing new he could have told Nick…nothing he or Cody hadn't told their friend at least a hundred times in the past three weeks! Suddenly Bozinsky jumped up and ripped open the curtains on the window.

"Isn't it a wonderful, sunny day Nick? I really wished you could pull yourself together and wake up! I think you had more than enough sleep, my friend!" he nearly cried.

'Boz…what are you talking about? I am awake! Stop…something's wrong…where am I? It's so dark!' Ryder tried to move, to open his eyes…to speak but his body didn't want to obey.

Cody was really scared from Murray's reaction and he took his quivering friend into his strong arms. "It's okay Boz…calm down! You have to keep your nerves! I know sometimes the tension is nearly unbearable!" This was the first time since the shooting that Allan had seen Murray losing his temper.

"Listen Boz, why don't you go home and try to find some distraction!"

"Are you sure…I mean can YOU handle it?"

"Don't worry…go on now!"

Allen took Nick's hand and started to strike it gently.

"Nick I have to tell you something really important. Well Murray and I, we start to work again…we'll take cases again you know. I promise only the simple ones…with the difficult cases we wait until you are better again!"

'Stop Cody…that's impossible! You and Murray cannot do the agency without me…who the hell should take care of you? I put in a veto here…anyway what does it mean when I am better? What is wrong…I don't get it! Damned! Ryder tried again to open his eyes…it couldn't be that difficult…he had done it a million times before!

After another unsuccessful try Nick decided to squeeze Cody's hand instead. It always worked…well it wasn't a feat, but Cody would understand the message and he wouldn't do a thing he knew, Nick couldn't endorse!

Good Lord even this tiny action failed…am I dead or perhaps in Zombieland?' Ryder asked himself.

"Okay buddy, I think it's time to go home!"Nick heard Cody's voice.

'No…don't go Cody…stay with me…I'm scared! I don't know where I am…hell I even don't know what I am! Please don't leave me alone!'

"Well big guy…Murray and I come to see you tomorrow again! Behave yourself, your hear me?" Allen patted Ryder's hand.

'I am in difficulties…huge difficulties Nick thought…but what have I done?'

Murray had prepared a light dinner and after two bottles of beer in the mild evening breeze both men decided to go to bed.

At three O'clock in the night Allen woke up from a noise. "Nick…is that you?"No, that wasn't possible. Nick was in hospital…the phone was ringing!

Allen felt his hackles raise…telephone calls in the middle of the night always spelled trouble!

He barely made it to the salon where he collided with Murray in the dark.

"The phone…he think, I answer…" Allen murmured hoarsely and tried to get the receiver with trembling hands.

Bozinsky pushed his friend aside…Cody wasn't in the shape to do it.

"Riptide Agency, my name is Murray Bozinsky. Yes…I understand…of course…we are on the way."

Murray alight on the chair next to the phone and Allen had nearly dug his fingers into the table…'Nick…no… that cannot be true…it cannot be!'

Murray stared at Cody, tears in his eyes: "Nick…"

"No, I don't want to hear about it! Shut up!" Allen shouted.

Murray jumped up and took his totally scared friends in his arms. "Nick is awake…we should go to the hospital!"

Allen sobbed and trembled.

"Cody, do you hear me? Nick is conscious!"

Cody stared at Murray then he rushed forward and squeezed the skinny man and whispered.

"Nick is awake…he is awake."

"Cody, you crush me to death!" Bozinsky panted.

Both men were awaited from the nurse on duty in front of Nick's room.

"Dr. Peters would like to talk to you gentlemen!" She greeted them.

"Yes, but we'd like to see Nick first!" Allen answered.

"I promise it won't take long. Dr. Peters only wants to instruct you. After that you can go and see Mister Ryder."

"Gentlemen, please sit down, the grey haired man greeted the friends.

"To be honest…I never thought he would make it and we would sit together here in my office because of such a delightful reason! But I learned once more that miracles can happen, we only have to believe in it…Well Mister Ryder woke up I'd say an hour ago. The nurse on duty was just changing an IV. We were all totally off a tizzy!"

"How is he Doctor Peters?"Murray wanted to know.

"That's not easy to explain…obviously he isn't in much pain. But he hasn't spoken since he woke up. I think he is a little confused…he doesn't know us and he doesn't know where he is. That's why we called you in the middle of the night. I am sorry we caused you so much fear but we wanted to approach him carefully. Your friend has experienced bad things and he is gone through hell…he was dead two times. I think we shouldn't run a risk!"

"How should we react?"

"As normal as possible under the circumstances. If he has questions…answer him but don't skip the details –that could throw him off the track. If the neurologist is right with his evaluation, Nick has pushed the events to the back of his mind and nobody can tell if or when it will show up again."

"Do you want to tell us that at the moment, he cannot remember what happened?" Bozinsky asked.

"I'd say it's possible that he cannot but it's also possible that he doesn't want to. Time will tell."

"Can we see him now?" Cody was quite impatient.

Cody and Murray entered the hospital room just they had done so many times in the last weeks. But today it was different because the anxious feeling that had always accompanied them before had made way for pleasant anticipation now.

Allen stepped at his friend's bed and started to caress Ryder's hand.

"Nick…it's me, Cody. Do you hear me buddy?"

Ryder opened his eyes and looked around in obvious confusion. But as soon as re recognized his friends, an exhausted smile flashed over his still too pale dark haired man cleared his throat.

"Cody…Murray", he murmured weakly. "I woke up and…and I was scared…didn't know where I am and…and you were not with me!"

"Now we are here Nick! Everything is going to be okay…it will be okay now!" Allen whispered, overwhelmed from his emotions and Murray only nodded.

"Cody…where am I?"

"You are in hospital Nick, but we talk about it later!"

"I'm in hospital? Why?"

"I'll tell you as soon as you are alert enough!"

"No…wanna talk…now. What happened…are you and Boz okay?"

"Sure we are. Nick, you have been shot. That's why you are here." Allen explained.

"Shot…uh! That's odd…it doesn't hurt like that…I'm only…so tired."Ryder slurred.

"Then you should go back to sleep buddy."

"But you and Murray will be…here when…when I have finished my nap?" Ryder asked, fear in his voice.

"That goes without saying Nick!" Murray assured him.

"You…won't forget me?" Ryder shook his head. "No…you won't."

"Of course not and now just try to rest."

"What time is it?"

"It's a quarter past four in the morning."

"Uh…it's a legal time to doss down some more." Ryder whispered.

"Sure Nick. Murray and I try to get a little sleep as well."

"Wouldn't…hurt…you look like…shit…both."

That's typical Nick…I mean, he wakes up after three weeks in coma and the first thing that strikes him is that we look like…you know what I talk about!" Murray giggled on their way back home.

"Cody, listen I have the impression that he cannot remember the shooting at all-otherwise he would have asked more. But to tell you the truth, if it were up to me, this state could last until Judgment Day!"

"Amen to that Murray!" Allen agreed and suppressed a yawn.

"Cody?"

"Yeah Boz?"

"I'm so sorry and so damned ashamed that I have given up on him…I guess I wasn't much of help for you!"

"What nonsense! Without you I surely wouldn't have made it through the last three weeks Murray.

I guess, I would have landed in a mental institution…who knows? I am grateful that you kept a cool head…it grounded me. Thank you Murray!

Only a few hours later, both men found themselves again in front of Nick's hospital room but a red light told them to stay and wait outside.

About fifteen minutes later, a solid dark-skinned nurse left the room.

"Good morning gentlemen", she greeted them friendly.

"I guess there is someone inside longing for you" she said with a genuine smile."Listen, your friend is a merry fellow…he really wanted to get up and take a shower!" She shook her curly head.

"To be honest, it was a lot easier to handle him while he was snoozing!"

"Good morning Nick!" Allen and Bozinsky greeted their friend. "How are you?"

"Besides that they deprive me of my human dignity here…I am well. Stop, they also give me nothing to eat…I am dying from hunger!"

Cody grinned: "Please don't be so eager pal. You are in a hospital not in a hotel. But I assure you…you are in the best hands!"

Ryder started to fumble with his hospital gown.

"Can anybody explain me THIS?" He pointed at a tube that let into his abdomen.

"Oh, that is a feeding tube. It supplies you with food…liquid…food, so to say." Boz answered.

"Uh ,liquid food! If I remember well, that's not the normal way to eat!" Ryder complained.

"Guys, you know me! I have to see the food, I have to smell it and most important, I have to chew it before it enters my stomach! I don't want it through a tube!"Ryder shook his head.

"Nick, I am sure, no I am convinced they will remove it during the day. As soon as the doctors allow it, we'll bring around everything your heart could wish for!" Allen promised.

"No! No stop! That sounds as if I have to face a longer stay here! Forget it!"

"Nick, listen to reason please! You have been shot! You had surgery! Now you have to recover. It takes as long as it takes…it's so simple. Allen tried to calm his friend down.

"Good thing you mentioned it Cody! WHO shot me WHERE and I can't help but it really prays on my mind: WHEN?

"Okay, okay…you will not stop until you know it. You have been shot at the harbor!" Allen gave Bozinsky a determined look.

"Shoplifters had started to fire in all directions and we were in the wrong place at the wrong time! Does it answer your questions?"

"Not really Cody…WHEN?"

"Okay…three weeks ago!"

"You are joking man…that's impossible Cody! Three weeks!" Ryder tried to grin but a look into his friend's faces told him that it was the truth.

"Three weeks ago…but I cannot remember a shooting! I think I am missing a few weeks in my memory!"

"Don't stress yourself Nick, the memories will come back!" Murray assured him.

"What if not?"

That would be the best! Allen thought to himself. Why to force memories to the surface that should better stay hidden?

"We'll worry about if it comes to that point!"

"Okay Nick, go ahead! What do you want us to bring here?" Murray looked at his friend, paper and pen in his hands.

The door suddenly opened and Dr. Peters entered the room.

"Good morning gentlemen! How are you Mister Ryder?"

"I'm okay Doc but if you came to tell me that I am allowed to go home tomorrow, I will feel a lot better!"

"I'm sorry son but you'll be our guest for a few more days!"

"But I am okay…really! I'm not in pain, so why do I have to stay then?"

"Listen Nick, you are really a lucky guy. I haven't seen a lot of people who survived an injury like the one you had…to tell the truth if I count them, I don't need a hand! We had to reanimate you twice. You were on artificial respiration for a week and you were in a deep coma for three full weeks! That's not a fleabite!"

Nick had listened to Dr. Peters' explanations in sheer amazement.

"But why can't I remember all these …things?"

"That's the magic…your subconscious mind has suppressed pain and fear and that is a good thing! But the less good news is that you are still very weak – it's from the huge blood loss. And your musculature is kind of rusty after three weeks in deepest sleep! It needs a lot of physical therapy to stimulate it and the harder you try the earlier you get your discharge papers!"

"Okay…I am ready! Let's start right now!"

"Gently, in the next few hours we content ourselves with removing all the unnecessary tubes and wires of your body. Then we look how your organism reacts on solid food after three weeks of liquids and if everything makes me happy…and that's no joke Nick, we carefully and slowly start to get you on your feet again!"

The following ten days became a test of stamina for all the people involved. Nick was impatient and each tiny failure enraged him and he doubled his efforts in return. But after the third day of the physical training Ryder had to accept that he was in a lousy condition and he clenched his teeth and claimed a nearly cruel treatment from his body. He wanted to go home and he was sure that he would be able to collect the missing pieces easier on board the Riptide, surrounded by his friends.

Nick was over the moon when he was finally released and onboard the Riptide he wandered through the rooms as if it was the first time.

In the middle of the salon he stopped and stared at the table as if he expected it to talk to him. A pen on a grocery list awoke his interest and he picked the pen up and twirled it between his fingers deep in thoughts.

"Nick, are you okay?" Allen asked as he recognized Nick's condition.

"What? Yeah man, I'm well!"

Murray and Cody had promised Ryder not to mother hen him to death but he couldn't stop them to pamper him at his first day at home.

Ryder had finished his plate and patted his stomach: "I am so full…I can't eat more! If you go on like that, I will be bursting at the seams!"

"Don't worry Nick that was an exception. It's your first day at home. Tomorrow we go back to routine, you'll see!" Bozinsky teased him with a wink.

"Let's hope so by Goodness! Listen guys, I think my battery has run low…I think I call it a night. Is it okay for you?"

"Of course Nick! I think it was too much today?"Allen patted Ryder's arm. "Do you need help?"

"Help to go to sleep?"

"You know damned well what I mean!"

"No, I'm fine but thanks! Thanks for today and for all your help during the last weeks."

When Cody entered the bedroom two hours later, he found Nick in a desperate condition.

His friend was tossing and turning in his bed soaked in sweat. "Tony…no…no!" He screamed. It was obvious that the young man was haunted from a nightmare.

Allen shook Ryder; "Nick wake up…it's only a dream! You have to wake up!"

Ryder opened his eyes with a start and stared at his friend, the horror visible on his face.

"Cody…oh my God! Blood…everywhere blood!" He stammered and looked at his trembling hands.

"Where is Tony? Where is the small boy?"

"Calm down Nick. It was just a dream. It's not real…only a bad dream. Nick you are at home. You are safe!" Allen took Ryder into his arms until the dark haired man relaxed.

After a few minutes Ryder was able to talk again.

"Cody…we don't know a boy named Tony…do we?"

"No pal…we don't!"

The next morning Ryder woke up and felt absolutely whacked. The nightmare had touched him more than he would admit but Cody had told him that it was only a trick of his imagination and so he decided not to think of it anymore.

"Come on guys, take me along!" Ryder begged.

"That's out of the question! We are facing a shopping marathon and that is too exhausting for you!" Allen said resolutely.

"By the way Nick, you are the one who complains all the time that shopping is nerve-racking and how much you hate it! Stay at home and relax!" Bozinsky added.

"Hey I wasn't out for years…I have cabin fever! Ryder revolted.

"Listen to reason Nick! As soon as we are back and you feel okay we can go for a little walk!" Allen offered.

"Okay but would you hurry up a little! I hate it to be alone!"

"We try our very best pal!"

Ryder walked the Riptide up and down and the minutes were creeping. He was restless and the nightmare didn't want to fade from his mind.

"I need fresh air!" He murmured and went on deck.

"I won't kill me to go for a stroll along the pier and Cody and Murray don't need to know."

On his way back to the boat he stopped at the mailbox and unloaded it.

Magazines, sales promotion, a letter for Murray, bills of course! Ryder sighed he was ashamed had he wasn't able to contribute for their living during the last weeks, if anything, he had caused immense expenses during his hospitalization.

There was one letter that attracted Nick's interest most. It was handwritten and the sender a person called Margaret Cummings…Ryder didn't know a person called Cummings but the letter was addressed to the Riptide detective Agency and so he was allowed to read it.

He opened the envelope and a bundle of bank notes dropped to the floor. Nick picked them up. Must be a client, he thought before he started to read the letter.

_Dear Mister Bozinsky, dear Mister Allen!_

_You will be surprised to receive this letter, so let me introduce myself first._

_My name is Margaret Cummings and I am the mother of Andrea Miller._

_I want to thank you for the help you offered my daughter to save Tommy and I want to assure you that you are not to blame for his death!_

_My thoughts and prayers are with your friend and partner Nick Ryder and I hope with all my heart that he will recover soon._

_I am sad to let you know that my daughter is in a mental institution now. It is for her protection – She tried twice to commit suicide during the last weeks- I hope she will be able to learn to live with Tommy's death one day and try to find a sense in her life again._

_I hope the money will be enough to cover your costs – if not please let me know._

_Yours faithfully_

_Margaret Cummings_

Nick felt dizzy…the room was spinning. He felt the urge to throw up. Ryder sat down at the table.

Tommy was his name…Tommy was the boy from his dream. All the blood…it was real and Tommy was dead!

Ryder's head sank on the table and he let his tears run free.

"Hey Nick, we are back!"

"To mark the occasion you get a beer tonight!" Allen called on his way down to the salon. On the last step he collided with Ryder.

"What's wrong Nick?" Allen asked worried after a look into his friend's tearstained eyes.

"I don't feel like celebrating." Nick whispered and left the Riptide in a mad rush.

"What is the matter?" Bozinsky asked.

"That's the matter!" Allen weaved Margaret Cumming's letter.

"What do we do now?"

"I think it is the time for a conversation now!"

"But where do we look for him?"

"Murray, where is Nick hiding when he has bad grief?"

"Let's go to the Mimi!"

Allan carefully opened the door to Mimi's cargo hold. Ryder lay curled up on the cot inside.

"Are we allowed to come in?"Allen asked and entered, followed by Murray.

Ryder sat up and sheepishly wiped away the tears. "Sure." He murmured and made room for his friends to sit down as well.

"Nick, we are so sorry that you had to learn it that way!" The blond started.

"You had to tell me…what the hell were you thinking?"

"Nick, your doctors advised us against telling you as long as you don't remember yourself! To be honest, we hoped that you'll never recollect the pieces!" Murray answered.

"Besides, nobody could guess that Miss Cummings would write us this letter!"

"Yes, and pay us for our failure!" Ryder whispered. "I think you would have hidden the letter as well!"

"Yes, if necessary!" Allen admitted. "We didn't want you to face up to his nightmare!"

"I'd say your good intention totally backfired!"

"Nick, nobody could save Tommy! Peter Miller had made up his mind to kill his son and himself…he didn't want to live any longer- It's nobody's fault…and you risked your live! You are the last one to blame!"

Ryder nodded. "I remember a phone call with Quinlan…I called him, right? Or is it just my imagination?"

"No you called him before we went to Jurassic Park but he refused to help us. You know him. He lives for his damned regulations! "

"I don't get it…when it comes to the welfare of a child…you cannot harp on about paragraphs!" Nick shook his head."What does Quinlan say about Tommy's death?"

"He took a leave of absence for an indefinite period…"

"I think he is more than punished for his misjudgment!" Murray said. "But the first days you were in hospital he called at least five times a day to ask how you are Nick!"

"Who…Quinlan?"

Allen nodded." I believe he has a heart after all... Come on Nick, let's go home!"

"You and Murray…go home. I stay here a little longer. There a few things I have to think about!"

"Are you sure…sure you can make it alone?"

"Yes, Cody and if I need help, I know where I find you!"

.


End file.
